Betty's Story

I am forever awed by the perspective a person gives when searching for the ‘why’ to their aspirations.  Recently, I met Betty, who approached her Myopic Topic Vision Board, with a giant ‘WHY NOT?’

Betty was creating her vision board, dreaming of the world cruise for which she longed.  Her children were grown and gone, her husband disinterested, happy to stay home and pish posh in his garden and Betty had nothing but time.  While in reality funds was not an issue, it definitely was a consideration.  A consideration that Betty could not get passed. 

As an avid reader, specifically of historical romance  novels, Betty had literally visited every big and small town in Europe.  She knew everything she wanted to do right down to the name of the cafe and the pastry she would order.  Betty smelt the sea, dreaming of her hair blowing in the wind, as it was shown on the cover of her corniest book.  She felt little remorse in delighting in her husband's disinterest in the trip, as surely his presence would adversely affect her picturesque vision with ear hair shavings in the sink.

Betty could not justify spending tens of thousands of their family savings for her to go on a European cruise  Oh the things that could be done with that money.  The list was endless and Betty could not seem to stop herself from going through the litany of reasons why she shouldn't and couldn’t go on a cruise.  There were so many ways her family, children, grandchildren could use those funds  How selfish could one woman be?  Family is Bettys commodity, as with most of us, we own nothing of greater value. 

From the moment Betty walked into the seminar, her bubbly energy was evident.  There are times, when from the podium I connect with one person who seemingly pulls energy from my words.  Perplexed is the best word to describe Betty’s expression as I expounded on finding the ‘why’ for your dreams and aspirations.  Betty was very clear on the ‘why’.  She could experience the why with all five senses by just closing her eyes.  As we chatted, in this moment of epiphany, we realized for Betty it was the ‘why not’, creating her obstacles.

On Halloween, PassionArt offers a super fun seminar about facing your fears   The crux of the seminar is ‘what’s the worst that can happen?’.  Betty similarly approached her guilt, equating it to fear and applying those Halloween guidelines.  I watched with trepidation, as Betty created a  most morbid vision board.  (Although I have to admit, I was impressed with the way she embraced the 3d objects provided, creating a diorama-like board.)

It’s the old adage “you can’t take it with you”, that resounded in Bettys thoughts.  Wasn’t that the brutal truth.  Pictorially, Betty embraced that truth, as she created not the ‘why’ of her dream, but the absence thereof.  Just before declaring this morbidity en-complete, Betty attached a little wooden bird, out of place and yet belonging.  I meant to ask her about the meaning of the bird, but was so wrapped up in our conversation, I forgot, and sent her off with minor use instructions.

Ten weeks later, almost to the day, Betty called me and asked me to meet for coffee.  Honestly, I do not remember all attendees at my seminars, but let’s be serious, I remembered her.  She promised me a story that was so unbelievable it could only be made up.  My coffee turned cold as she spinned her tale, a sort of historical romance novel of her own.  

This is the story she told me that morning in Starbucks , taking me with her, word by word through her amazing adventure:

“I did it! And I skimped on nothing! First class all the way baby, that’s how I roll. At least that’s how I roll now.  But let me start from the beginning, I’m so excited I can barely even….

 I did everything you said.” she told me.  “ I put my vision board at eye level in front of that toilet. Although.  I do like catching up on the news with my morning salutation, I am sure on some level I saw that vision board a few times a day (clearly it works more often for women she observed and laughed for quite a while before continuing).  And there it was, so simple it was stupid ‘shit or get off the pot’.  I had been envisioning this trip for so long, maybe I was scared of needing a next dream, but who cares.  It’s right in front of my face.  Live.  Live big.  Live for today.  That’s what my anti-why vision board means.  Live big.  Before my pants were pulled up I was booked in a first class cabin on a river cruise that  departed from Budapest,”

She starts talking faster, and it's harder to keep up.

“ A dream of my dreams.  Budapest was where my grandparents met in 1914., My grandmother, Nora and her sister Birdie were stranded without passage on a return trip from checking out boarding schools (as they called it in those days,  for their younger sister who was in a family way if you get what I mean). “  she added under her breath.  “Helping her translate was the noble Nathan from Nebraska. Diligently and caringly, translating while providing support, and probably trying to get in her pants.  Yes, that was the goal, even in 1914.  And while  Grandmother Nora was distracted by Nathan from Nebraska,  Birdie met Bart from Balatonfüred, marrying him and never returning.  You can’t make this stuff up “  startled by her own snort, she laughed again.  

“One week later, with 12 new outfits packed in order,  I sat for the first time in first class and I jetted to Budapest.”  

“The ship was glorious.  I really have to show you the pictures, but not today, I need to get to the point.  I am going to jump ahead and then we can back up. Around the third night, being holiday naughty, I bummed a Marlboro and smoked it on deck.  Standing next to the ship's young Boseman, I struck up a conversation.  The usual.  How long have you worked on this ship?  Have you always wanted to do this for a living?  Are you married?  Where are you from?  Where?  Could you repeat that?  Did you say Balatonfüred?  I know that name.  And so the game of genetic geography began.  A very short game.  It took only three moves before we were connected.  Apparently, Burt, from Birdie and Burt fame, was his great grand-father, and his sister Madar, meaning bird, was named after his great Grandmother Birdie..”

I can count on my hand the number of times in my life I have been speechless.  As Betty continued, my mouth hung uncomfortable open, a gasp as this story unfolded to a crichenze to which I was not prepared.  Honestly, I couldn’t take much more.

“I am a pragmatic Abbie, I know how vision boards work.”  Betty continued “  Looking at that board day after day, whether I knew it or not, slowly built in me the uncrushable desire to fulfill this particular dream. You called it Value Tagging.   It propelled me to do what I have dreamt of for years, and through those constant silent reminders I saw this to its fruition.  That being said, how do you explain the bird?  You know, the bird. Do you remember, at the last second I added that silly bird?” 

She is so right.  And of course I did remember the bird, as it was odder than her macabre vision board.  “Bird?  Birdie?  Get it?”  she emphasized.

OMG. Yes. Got it!